I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
