I seem to have left my pride at pride
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
