I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
