stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Boobs speak an international language.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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