I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
