as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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