just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hippo gnu deer
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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