i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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