She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
