Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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