look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
