For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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