two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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