He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
