i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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