OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
