Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
