I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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