You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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