my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
