home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
