If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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