Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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