I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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