Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize