Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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