school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
