If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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