you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
