if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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