What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
