I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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