I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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