i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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