Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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