I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
