Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
