i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How does one acquire holy water?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
