What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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