I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
