i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
