This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
