Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
