Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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