Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
