thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is wine microwaveable?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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