His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
