So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
