You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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