You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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