Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
