Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
