i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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