We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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