When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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