I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
