areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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