My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
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