ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
