I hate all girls vehemently.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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