Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
