well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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